Forced to Slow it Down

I am healing.

Simply, healing.

I took a bad fall down my flight of stairs last week, the night before I was to have a day off for a recommended massage therapist to work on my neck that had been bothering me for 9 days. I am still in pain... I wound up in the emergency room last Tuesday night at 11:30 pm until 4 am. Unfortunately, I had to cancel my massage and fortunately, I had no broken bones just a majorly bruised hip, spine, and neck.

All I was trying to do was get the garbage together from upstairs. I somehow ran down my stairs in stocking feet, slipped hard and banged my spine directly on the last five stairs. When I reached the floor, I couldn't move. I sat there crying because I knew what I did was not good and then I called my family. I am not good at asking for help at all and went through a list of friends who I could call to help me, but it was late and a work night. My sister called her boyfriend before I made any decisions and he was over in 15 minutes. Thank you, G., for staying with me in the ER until 4am... And, for dealing with my tears and frustrations. Thank you to the friends who told me I was silly to NOT have called them! Okay, next time, you're it!

So, lots of pills, too much wine and maybe a little rest, I am still extremely sore and annoyed with myself. And, my dad bought me rug treads which I have already tacked down to both sets of wooden slippery stairs. Yes, ugly, but safe!

But everyone has been amazing. My dad drove from North Jersey to pick me up for Thanksgiving because I couldn't drive and my sister drove back with me on Saturday. I can't sit comfortably long so work will be interesting tomorrow...

I am so thankful for my family. Thankful for my neighbors who heard of my fall and are ready to help where needed.

Oh, so, thankful for my family...and my dog who seems to understand that I just can't move the way I used to. At least for a little bit longer.

Ironicically Tuned.

At a show this evening:

She came up to me. She said hi, extremely excited and happy and so smiley. I had no idea who she was. I said, hi. She said, I know you, you work at UArts. I am a student there and I see you all the time. I think you are amazing. You are so pretty and adorable. You have the best sense of style and I think you are just fabulous. I was in shock. I was in complete shock... I said, thank you, and that she was so sweet and, quite frankly, she just made my night! Then, she went on stage and sung her cute little heart out.

The thing is She inspired me.

Guitar in hand, She inspired Me.

Thank You Girl,
Kat.

Turn it Around

If it ain't working for you, turn it around or stand on your head.

I did. And, I do.

Looking at things upside down, makes the world less complicated.

And, you might laugh.

So, if you are reading this, take a second and get on the floor and figure out your own way of getting upside down.

I promise you will feel better.

Fingers crossed,
kat.

Baby, it's cold outside!

(the picture doesn't go with the post, but goes with my day! i am the same girl up above. some things don't change, well, except maybe hair color! photo: brooklyn, 1981-ish muscianesi family)

Down one glove and one lamp. Up one Trunk Show!

On my evening walk with Javier, we ran into a cute 70ish pound lab puppy we know. The lab thought it would be great to play tug with my new fingerless glove flap. Yea, not so great for my glove. Tip: Take glove off before petting puppy. The then said puppy decided to grab Javier's leash and take her for a walk! Yep, it was the cutest thing ever and I could care less about the glove.

Javier + I decided to keep the butt-dragging-tradition going so off I went to the kitchen floor and there she came with ball. Tip: Move all large objects before chucking ball from kitchen to living room. Or, just move the big lamp. Oops, lamp shade cracked, but nothing a little duct tape and new light bulb couldn't fix!

At lunch today, I went to Scarlet Fiorella for my jewelry appointment. Super cute store on 13th street below Chestnut. She adored all my new work and even put a pair of earrings on. I left about 13 new pairs today and need to make about another 12 for this weekend. She is hosting me for a Trunk Sale on Saturday from 12-4 pm! Drinks + food, too. The store is also having a 20% off everything, yes, my stuff included. Good for you, bad for me. My profits will be small - as when you work with a store there is often a 50/50 split agreement (and the sale will knock my profit margin lower). It's okay though. I am so happy to be doing this and there are many benefits to the experience. The more exposure, the better...

Tomorrow is my little sister's 30th birthday. If you see her, give her the biggest birthday wish ever!

Wheat Thins + Wine,
Kat.

simple things

May I suggest that when the going gets tough, you sit on your kitchen floor and play fetch with your dog. Yep, I highly recommend it. I was feeling a bit flustered + Javier was Miss Playful so I gave in to her throwing every toy on my lap, walked into my kitchen and sat on the floor. She looked at me perplexed and then brought me three toys and the fun began!

I forgot about the nonsense in my head. And, even if it was just a simple distraction, I was laughing and letting her drag my butt around via a rope toy.

My little munchkin is a free mood lifter.

On another note, I have an appointment tomorrow in a really cute Center City store regarding my earrings. The store also asked me to do a trunk show, too. We shall see what we can work out.

Every bit is a bit.

My bit.

hang it out to dry

I wanted to walk down my basement stairs tonight and say something really poignant. I was hoping to start tapping away on the keys with inspiration + bundles of gratitude. However, I can't lie. I am not feeling it. It's a difficult time for me as I struggle with bills, the house and the finances that come with this piece of property I wanted so badly. My life in general has changed drastically + I know it won't be like this forever, but, today was hard. And, the holiday season ain't helping it! All my family will be receiving homemade gifts this year, for sure!

But, I do have one thing...

Thank you to that band of spirits who placed the call to my phone and reminded me to trust my own instincts. I do forget sometimes... And, it's all I really want right now.

I was literally stuggling with something today (and the specifics are too personal to talk about), but the friend on the other line said, okay, what's going on because something told me to call right now as I was about doing 10 different things. So, tell me because I have no idea why I had to call. But, I had to. So, tell me Lady.

It was the timing. And, the moment. I can't even tell you how much this happens to me + how much I appreciate it. One minute I am welling up with emotion and frustration + the next minute the phone rings saying, hey, talk to me...

So we chatted. And, I remembered that word patience. And, trust.

Thanks, Cowboy, for that call.

xo,
kat.

garbage man dance

Today was garbage day. Well, because it was a holiday yesterday.

And, with that came the memory that popped into my head of my dad performing his Garbage Man Dance.

The dance he still does for me and my sister. It is sort of robot-like and he only really moves forward and backwards with these crazy faces in the most unpredictable random rhythm. It really makes us all laugh to pieces.

Hey Dad, thanks for the Garbage Man Dance you still do for your girls.

xo,
kat.

Pony Tales

Yep, I have a pony tale. A small one, but it's my tale.

My tail.

Tonight, during an intense dance class (ouch), I was actually able to pull my hair back into a Pony Tail. My friend lent me an elastic, and voila, I had a tail! Wow. It has been years since my hair has been at this length! It is not long - just above the shoulders, but just at the length that the elastic held most of the strands. It was quite exciting for me. But most days, I want to cut it all off again and go back to the shorter days.

I am looking for a Big Change, again. Any suggestions? Something really Big.

Tomorrow, I took the day off. I had a crazy week so far and sorta felt like I was being pulled in 15 directions. I needed a day to hit snooze and really mean it, for real. I am looking forward to sleeping in to all of 9am. And, a day for a longer walk with Javier > coffee in hand...And, I am looking forward to catching up with all my knitting pals tomorrow night at my house. Some of the gals I haven't seen since last knit-up. Oh, and we may actually get back to knitting (and not all drinking) since it's cold out! And, I can snuggle with Miss Amelia Lane again. Little babies make me smile...

I also made a few more earring connections today. Fingers-crossed. I really don't want to pick up a part time job... I need to get myself out there more to avoid a weekend job. But, if any of you folks reading this have any part-time work suggestions, please feel free to offer them up! No to waitressing or bartending, please.

Sometimes I wish everything was that much easier. And, for me, it's not the economy really. It's the life changes that have caught up to me and I can't avoid them any longer.

Maybe I will play the lottery tomorrow? Or maybe I will just stay this positive and know that it will all work out.

It always does...

xo,
kat.

homemade diaper cakes...

the babies are coming! all of my girlfriends are having babies + my sister and I are on a diaper cake kick! here are the first two yummy ones! we may just have a new business venture with this one! what do you think?

I can't stop now

November 4 + 5
kat.

september daisies
the day I was born into
fifteen of seventy six

and so I was one
of the four we would become
ragdolls and lollipops

naptime in Brooklyn
nonsense and whimsical tears
take me home mom now

big wheels chris made noise
fast around the block no crossing
aileen and the sink

grandma so close by
I miss potatoe pancakes
Dupcia! she would say!

Meat market we go
Saw dusty metal hooks and deer
loved that gray skinned coat

tap tap black and white
carroll gardens basement floor
we tied hankerchiefs

cards wine and mob tales
Giacomo and Dominic
I am happy now

her bathtub found her
her stairs I did climb up down
the watch I still wear

walking home from school
m & m’s in hand behind
brother forgot me

the name became me
florkowski-muscianesi
in papers on the town

library books seven
and the teacher said to me
didn’t want to hear

embarrassed for, than
I was young and heartbroken
unlike my friends’ purse

that long road at night
the peach that ate my street with
light sister delight

I miss Sam sometimes
under the table she hid
when mom grabbed the spoon

green gap navy clothes
matching but snides making noise
I still carry hurt

England he would go
ring ring phone would ring later
red and white afghan

A on her papers
bringing home simplicity
to make it better

flowershop on my
tiny closet flowershop
how can I help you?

your it! Tag, your It!
On the Biggest tree I saw
chopped down before we knew

Oh, but the little
amazing dogwood beauty!
Laura and I said no

time flies I once knew
small children who danced to my
Voice Guitar Rhythms

life is limitless
don’t nod it away or tell
Me anymorethan that

loving is harder
older wiser dammit I
kick myself hardest

airport romance, no
barbelled weight benches spin class
sideswiped by bodies!

but the fireman and
the spin instructor and I
mmm boys in gym shorts

yes or no maybe
grad school and the medium
brought me to my dead

yoga, I thank you
twenty-five on two thousand one
I met child’s pose

the one for five years
his cancer told the bar maid
it was a wedding

I cried and let go
Bethlehem is further than
his floor I weeped on

the ring was shiny
alien painting I made
the figures of us

on Montague street
Romeo and Juliet
the last meal of that

she found me today
wrote about her yesterday
happening to me

wet nosed friend tapping
nails on my very first floors
house I shared with him

bought a few guitars
coffee shop open mic night
the reddest of hair I had

mark, I have to go
pretty salesman selling peace
time traveling wife

planting many seeds
on white pantry stepladder
don't ever lie again

hurrah! arms go up
ballet shoes are on again
my legs are warmest

eyes look up sometimes
that guy on the subway winked
hold the pole so tight

hips do move again
boots and ipod are my hoot
owl at night perched firm