my weekend going home...

Well, I am not really even sure if anyone looks at this little space of mine, but I woke up Saturday and decided to document my day as a little project + insight into the place where I reside. If that makes sense?

This was a really hard weekend for me quite honestly. I am not in the best spot. I will say it out loud: The last 3.5 months have been extremely hard on my soul + heart...and my stomach. I lost ten pounds + a boyfriend. I don't recommend this diet to anyone. And, yes, I will be better off, but right now my heart hurts more than it has in years... Silly me had Hope in this One. I truly did.

I am ready for Change all over the place.

Friday night, I arrived to my parents sort of late. I was greeted with a tall glass of wine and a bouquet of flowers from Giacomo. It felt good to come home to my family.



We spent the evening on the back deck and I was listened to quietly. It was exactly where I needed to be.

Upon waking up Saturday, I set my first goal for the day: I will complete a yoga headstand all by myself. I will get my stomach muscles to lift me up high and proud. Well, there were many falls + tumbles + laughs and the headstand did not happen quite as planned, but the day had just begun....Thanks Mom for the support! ha!



And, then it was time for a little trip down memory lane. I planned to visit two of my closest friends who I had not seen in some time. A part of me had gone quiet the last 6 months and I hid away for a while because I just didn't understand all of the emotions + thoughts in my head. I was literally stuck. It felt so good to come out of that place and speak openly and honestly to the people I love the best.

So, I got in Cassie, my Cabrio, to head out for Trip Number One: Stephanie and Jared's Big Moving Day in Denville, NJ.



I blasted Pete Yorn's musicforthemorningafter and sang my heart out. I flirted with the truckers on Rt. 46 and enjoyed the sun on my face... The experience brought me back to my days as a traveling pre-school music teacher where I would do this exact same thing all day long five days a week... Where did that girl go?

Stephanie and Jared were understandably stressed + tired when I got there, but I was greeted with sweaty hugs and kisses. The friends moving them chimed in, girl, you don't show up "looking hot" to move! Thanks boys, you made me smile big. Good ol' Mom took their little baby Ryan so they could get some real work done... I enjoyed staying busy + moving box by box for 2.5 hours. Stephanie has been a friend since 6th grade. We have, literally, been through the ringer together. Thank you both. I love you!



I arrived back to my parent's home by 4pm before my second planned journey of the day. My next destination was Nutley, NJ in the complete opposite direction down Rt. 46. So, it was a perfect time to try out that damn yoga headstand again right at home.

Exhausted, foodless, and determined... by golly, I got it!!! Thanks Edamame and Javier for the support. Mom + Dad missed this one, but Laura + Giacomo watched silently as I rolled myself up using only those stomach muscles - high up to the sky. I am SO extremely proud of me and my stomach!



Then, I was off to Destination Two: Joanna and Mike's newly renovated home and Joanna's newly pregnant belly!!!

SideBar: Driving down the highway mostly tired from the lack of sleep all week, I just thought away about where I was going and how I am so lucky to have such very special people in my life. From Tuesday to Friday of last week, I received a ridiculous amount of phone calls from people I barely spoke to before. I had new friends showing up at my door at 10 pm to do cheers of smiles and "girl, you are so fine." I had a random neighbor help me carry in a huge Ikea bed frame (which I proceeded to put together by myself in 4 hours even though the directions called for 4 sets of hands. I have NO IDEA how I did it. I love this canopy bed, by the way). I shared drinks with my neighbors who I just became acquainted with as they talked about their wedding this Saturday. They actually invited me to come, but I said, Boys, don't think you want me at a wedding right now! They kept my spirits high, the tears at bay and fed me wine till the wee hours of the morning...

Joanna and Mike! Joanna is also a dear old friend from third grade. We share much history, Hoboken memories and NYC night club stories. The things we girls did from 22 to 27. My group of girlfriends really ENJOYED our twenties... We all grew up 30 minutes outside of NYC and never missed a beat. Joanna, love you too, dollface! And, yes, you still look amazing. Embrace the changes.



I spent much time with Joanna outside on her deck catching her up to speed. It was a great afternoon...

At 7pm, my sister was calling me. Apparently, Giacomo was preparing us a fancy dinner feast. It was time for me to head back to West Caldwell.

I walked in my front door to this, I kid you not!



The menu consisted of:
Seared delish Tuna
Wasabi Mashed Potatoes
Steamed Asparagus
Coconut Shrimp!
Amazing Mojitos!

And for dessert: Homeade canolis and cream puffs! Giac, you outdid yourself, again. Thank you so much for your part in this weekend...



We had a great dinner. Michele, my brother Chris' fiance, also joined us in the festivities.

Umm, as you can tell, the drinks did a number on us! Let the fun begin...



The evening started to settle in and the drinks continued to flow. We laughed much, ate a ton, and shared some tears.

But, today is a new day. Each day is a brand new beginning with its own set of challenges and accomplishments.

I get a choice in how I want to approach it.

I may be quiet over the next few weeks, but I promise to snap out of this stronger, happier and completely ready for The World ahead of me...

Merci to those who have helped me on this journey. You know who you are.

xo,
kat.

reminder to self: this was me, too

nerves

my mom went for her five year check-up today.

i am nervous.

life has been too much for me.

I have never been so disappointed in someone.

that's all.

too many emotions.

time to just Be.

and, give it up to something larger than me...

horizon

the possibility of something new is extremely close... i am ready for the change. i am ready to embark on something brand new + fresh.

i am ready to go back to being the me i once was.

because damn it, nothing is holding me back now.

nothing.

where I become silent

i go to yoga to get empty

where i become silent

it truly is that simple


i recommend
you try it

About Me

I love peanut butter straight out of the jar

I officially decided today to Let Go for my sanity + peace of mind

Daisies are my favorite flower

I prefer coffee over tea, but only in the morning

I don't know my natural hair color

My intuition is as high as my sensitivity runs

I have a tattoo of a daisy on my right ankle

I get nervous about life

Born in Brooklyn. Mostly raised in Caldwell

Blue is my favorite color

Dresses and Boots. My favorite outfit combo!

I make jewelry to relax + contemplate

I think I have sexy calves!

I eat a hard boiled egg every morning

My sister can push my buttons easily

I can love too much too much of the time

I love food that does not always love me back!

I will be successful in my own way

I am not sure of which way that will be?

I have a keen sense of people

I didnt write my thesis for my masters because the guitar took over my heart

I am not particularly fond of my critical nature

I work every day on this

Creativity is part of who I am

I LOVE to sing late at night

I absolutly hate to give up

I dated a guy for 5 years who left the relationship for his best friend

I never hurt so bad

My grandmother and my mother both battled breast cancer successfully

I am scared of my fate more than I have ever admitted...

The Cracked Pot

Every day, a farmer carried two pots to the river to fetch water. Each pot hung on the end of a pole across his shoulders. The pot on his right side was new and perfect. The pot on his left side was older and had a crack in its side.

The new pot brought back all the water the farmer put into it. But the cracked pot leaked out water in a little trail. This went on day after day for two years. The little cracked pot felt terrible. "I am so ashamed of my imperfection!" One day, it spoke to the farmer. "I must apologize. I only deliver half my load because I leak out water all the way back to your house. You should just get rid of me!"

The farmer said, "Do not despair. Look behind you. Do you not see those beautiful flowers along the path? Those are on the left side where I carry you. I knew about your special feature so I planted flower seeds, and you have watered those seeds as I walked home. Thanks to you, I have fresh flowers for my table. Thank you, little cracked pot. You are very special."

excerpt from The Treasure in Your Heart Yoga and Stories for Peaceful Children

(some of my new blooms... the top picture is my first morning glory flowers from seeds! the bottom is a returning + opening clematis beauty!)

new etsy listings!!

www.paperchimedesign.etsy.com

Tomorrow First Friday. Visit Me!

june bug

my garden = home

earrings can be found on my etsy site!
http://www.paperchimedesign.etsy.com/

life is in full bloom i say, because...

1. my garden is me: colorful + temper(mental) !
2. my boy D still makes me blush a bit + gives me butterflies. simply, delicious.
3. in a fit of sickness last week, a kind man returned my wallet i left in a superfresh cart in the parking lot. i wish i could tell him how bad my day was before he came in + out of my life. i thank our world for colliding.
4. my neighbor i never met until this week (!!) when i heard an old friend on her roof from my studio window (!!) - is someone i already know. SMALL world.
5. i am having an earring party at sweet jane friday 7-10 (south phila passyunk)
6. a friend from home announced her pregnancy which made us all twinkle with joy.
7. i leave cabinets, microwave + closet doors open and don't turn around to shut them! this is a major breakthrough!
8. my toe is cooperating and so is my new yoga class + newish yoga studio.
9. i am keeping faith in this place i am in.
10. i will keep reaching, striving + maintaining me...